Theory:

Using ADVANCED SENTENCE STRUCTURES to improve your writing

CLEFT SENTENCES are used to draw attention to a particular point.

NOMINALISATION is used to make phrasing more concise and easier to read.

CONCESSIONARY CLAUSES are used to clarify a particular point. They are also used to acknowledge a contrasting view.

INVERSION is used to emphasise something, or to make text more formal.

Sometimes these clause structures are used to avoid repeating sentence structures, and they are often used to give variety to the writing.

A CLEFT SENTENCE takes a sentence which has two parts and puts the second part in front of the first one.

1 Basic sentence:

The food wasn't bad, although the fish was terrible.

Using a CLEFT SENTENCE:

What was terrible was the fish, although the other food wasn't bad.

2 Basic sentence:

The real problem we have is in the schools.

Using a CLEFT SENTENCE

It is in the schools that we have the real problem.

A CONCESSIONARY CLAUSE is used to present the opposite view before explaing the writer's view.

3 Basic sentence:

Smoking should be illegal, although smokers have rights.

Using CONCESSION:

Although smokers have rights, smoking should be made illegal.

When sentence elements are manipulated within a sentence, sometimes the subject verb positioning gets reversed. This is called INVERSION, and is characteristic for some sentence structures.

4 Basic sentence:

I can't go on holiday because I didn't save my money.

Change it to a CONDITIONAL:

If I had saved my money, I could go on holiday.

Using INVERSION:

Had I saved my money, I could go on holiday.

5 Basic sentence:

I would like to eat in that restaurant but it's very expensive.

Change it to a conditional:

If I were rich, I would eat in theat restaurant.

Using INVERSION:

Were I rich, I would eat in that restaurant.

The subject of a sentence is always a noun, but sometimes a clause can be used there, and it functions as a noun. This is called NOMINALISATION.

6 Basic sentence:

Families feel much closer because they can use the internet to communicate.

Using NOMINALISATION:

Using the internet to communicate makes families feel much closer.

7 Basic sentence:

What the town really needed was a strategy aimed at attracting more tourists.

Using NOMINALISATION:

An effective tourist strategy is what the town needed.

Let's apply these ideas to an actual document to improve it.

Basic Document:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

1 Changing the first sentence identified into a CONDITIONAL SENTENCE gives us the following:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. If smoking had been made illegal in the past, our hospitals would not be full of people who have been made ill by this addiction, and many unnecessary deaths could have been avoided.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

Identifying another sentence in the basic document to change:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

2 Changing the sentence identified by including a RELATIVE CLAUSE gives us the following:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers, who don't smoke, often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

Identifying another sentence in the basic document to change:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

3 Changing the sentence identified by using CONCESSION gives us the following:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. It is true that smokers are free to spend their money as they wish. Nevertheless, to satisfy their addiction, smokers spend money that could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

Identifying another sentence in the basic document to change:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. Smokers spend a lot of money to satisfy their addiction and this could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that smoking should be made illegal although smokers may feel their right are not being respected. This would protect smokers and non smokers alike, and save a lot of money that is wasted on cigarettes.

4 Changing the sentence identified by using INVERSION gives us the following:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

Firstly, smoking is responsible for causing disease. Our hospitals are full of people who only became ill due to smoking, and large numbers of people have died unnecessarily as a consequence of this addiction.

Secondly, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others.

Additionally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. It is true that smokers are free to spend their money as they wish. Nevertheless, to satisfy their addiction, smokers spend money that could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Finally, in conclusion, I think that were smoking to be made illegal, smokers and non smokers alike would be protected from the dangers of smoke, and a lot of money could be saved.

The improved document using all these changes would then be the following:

Smoking is a common activity in today's society. Some people feel that it would be wrong to make smoking illegal becuause it would deny smokers their rights. I, however, strongly disagree with this position for several reasons.

To start with smoking is responsible for causing disease. If smoking had been made illegal in the past, our hospitals would not be full of people who have been made ill by this addiction, and many unnecessary deaths could have been avoided.

Furthermore, passive smoking affects innocent people who choose not to smoke. Family members of smokers, who don't smoke, often get ill from smoking related illnesses because they were affected by the smoke of others. This is unfair.

Finally, smoking is an enormous waste of money. It is true that smokers are free to spend their money as they wish. Nevertheless, to satisfy their addiction, smokers spend money that could be put to better use in many ways, both for their families and for society.

Taking all these ideas into account, I am absolutely convinced that were smoking to be made illegal, smokers and non smokers alike would be protected from the dangers of smoke, and a lot of money could be saved.