Subjects:

Theory:

Our document now looks like that given below:

Some people believe we should not go abroad for our holidays, that it's better to spend our free time in our own country. I don't agree.

To begin with, cheap flights enable people to travel to go to other countries which wasn't possible in the past. students can get railcards which don't cost much, and visit other countries. Sometimes it costs less to travel abroad than at home.

Secondly, holidays don't have to be bad for the environment. Much of the journey can be done by ship, train or bus. Once there, accommodation may be in tents or in country houses that use little energy, with local travel by horse, by bicycle or on foot.

Finally, young people need to learn about the world which they cannot do by staying at home.

To sum up, I think that holidays abroad can be educational, economical and environmentally friendly.

The final evaluation section looks at the language used in this document:

Has a wide range of vocabulary been used?

Have simple and complex grammatical structures been used?

Have the ideas been expressed in an efficient manner?

Let's look at some ideas related to language.

The FCE exam covers many important language elements in the USE of English sections, and the student is expected to use these elements in the speaking and writing exams. Let's look at how the language in the document we have created can be improved.

The first paragraph:

'Some people believe we should not go abroad for our holidays, that it's better to spend our free time in our own country.'

Can be replaced by the following:

The idea of spending our holidays in our own country rather than enjoying the pleasures other countries have to offer is quite popular with some people.

The second version uses better quality vocabulary.

The statement:

'I don't agree'

can be said in a better way, and here we have some possibilities:

'I, however, disagree.

I, on the other hand, have a very different opinion.

I see things differently.

These use advanced linking elements like 'however' and 'on the other hand' so they would get you a better mark.

The language in the second paragraph can be improved as follows:

'To begin with, cheap flights enable people to travel to go to other countries which wasn't possible in the past. Students can get railcards which don't cost much, and visit other countries. Sometimes it costs less to travel abroad than at home.'

gives

To start with, low-cost air travel has revolutionised the tourism industry. This has opened the door to previously inaccessible destinations, and young people can now get to all corners of the world without the need for a lot of money in their pockets.

then, looking at the sentences in the third paragraph:

'Secondly, holidays don't have to be bad for the environment. Much of the journey can be done by ship, train or bus. Once there, accommodation may be in tents or in country houses that use little energy, with local travel by horse, by bicycle or on foot.'

gives

Additionally, the travel industry has been very proactive in creating holiday packages that have no negative effects on the environment. Such holidays use means of transport that have a low carbon footprint, and the accommodation is often rural where there is limited consumption of energy.

Looking at the sentences in the fourth paragraph:

'Finally, young people need to learn about the world which they cannot do by staying at home.'

gives

Finally, the educational benefits for young people experiencing other cultures is immense. Their social awareness comes alive, helping them to mature in an extremely positive fashion, which is something staying at home would not make possible.

looking at the final paragraph:

'To sum up, I am absolutely convinced that holidays abroad are positive experiences that can be both economical and environmentally friendly.'

gives

To sum up, I am absolutely convinced that holidays abroad are positive experiences that can be good for the mind, good for the pocket, and good for the planet.

Without looking at each single word, we can say the language is improved by using better quality adjectives, more of them, and using adverbs to modify the value of the adjectives:

low-cost air travel, revolutionised, the tourism industry, previously inaccessible destinations, all corners of the world, very proactive, no negative effects, low carbon footprint, limited consumption of energy, educational benefits, immense, social awareness, extremely positive fashion, absolutely convinced, positive experiences, good for the mind, good for the pocket, and good for the planet.

Once all the main elements have been included in the document we should look at the document size. It is impractical to count the words as you write. You need to have a strategy of contolling the size of your document, and the best way is to control the sizes of the paragraphs.

If each line has about 10 words, then a paragraph of three lines represents 30 words. Here we are trying to write a document of about 175 words, with 5 paragraphs, so we are looking at about 35 words per paragraph, or three to four lines per paragraph.