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1.1 Writing - ESSAY
Before starting to write an essay for the CPE, we need to have a clear understanding of several things:
- The kind of essay the examiners are looking for.
- The specific elements the examiners are expecting to see in the essay.
- The kind of language which is required to get a good mark.
So let's start with the kind of essay the examiners want. In the handbook, the clearly state that a DISCURSIVE ESSAY is required:
So this essay would expect to have an introduction, a body and a conclusion, where the body would discuss two sides of a subject. That gives us 4 paragraphs, with two paragraphs for the body.
This is a good point to think about the size of the document. We are required to write between 240 and 280 words, and if we have 4 paragraphs, we can control the size of the document by controlling the size of the paragraphs - here we need between 60 and 70 words per paragraph. To ensure the document is balanced, we need our paragraphs to be aproximately the same size.
The second piece of important information we get from this document is that we are required to summarise ideas and evaluate them.
The handbook also mentions that the document needs to be well organised and coherent with the use of cohesive devices.
The handbook also mentions that less common vocabulary should be used.
Within the body of the document, the handbook explains that a wide range of grammatical elements should be used, with good paragraph structure and a variety of sentence types and lengths.
Let's look at a typical context sentence:
In an age when young people in America are considered adults at the age of 18, not being allowed to consume alcohol until they are 21 seems strange.
Then a rhetorical question is used to lead into a presentation of the ideas the two texts present:
What arguments could there be to support this position, or should the age be reduced to 18?
Then a sentence which explains what the body of the essay intends to do is developed by referring to both texts, and this leads the reader to the second paragraph:
Both texts discuss the merits of these positions, but from a different perspective.
The completed introduction is then as below:
In an age when young people in America are considered adults at the age of 18, not being allowed to consume alcohol until they are 21 seems strange. What arguments could there be to support this position, or should the age be reduced to 18? Both texts discuss the merits of these positions, but from different perspectives.
Before we look at what to say in the second paragraph, we need to identify the main ideas of the first text and use them to create a paraphrased version:
- 18 year olds are treated as adults in many ways which often involve life or death situations, except in the consumption of alcohol.
- Some states are pushing for change.
- Popular sentiment is that this is long overdue
Using these ideas, the first part of the second paragraph would be:
The first passage argues that people under the age of 21 in America not being allowed to consume alcohol while having the right to live an otherwise adult life is unacceptable, and calls for the change which is starting to happen.
This is a paraphrase of the first text.
The evaluation of this text needs the student's personal feelings on the subject:
I personally feel that someone who can start a family, own a firearm or go to war not being allowed to drink a beer is bizarre. Alcohol does not seem to warrant such draconian attitudes.
Putting these two elements together gives the following paragraph:
The first document contends that people under the age of 21 in America not being allowed to consume alcohol while having the right to live an otherwise adult life is unacceptable, and calls for change, which is starting to happen. I personally feel that someone who can start a family, own a firearm or go to war not being allowed to drink a beer is bizarre. Alcohol does not seem to warrant such draconian attitudes.
Looking at paraphrasing the second text for the third paragraph, the key ideas are:
- Underage drinking has a very high social cost.
- American youth have a weakness of going to extremes.
- Without the presence of authority, young Americans have a tendency to be violent.
Putting these ideas together gives us:
As a consequence of the fact that young people in America have an affinity for extreme behaviour and violence when under the influence of alcohol, the social cost of lowering the legal drinking age is unacceptably high.
The next step is the evaluation of these ideas:
Whilst it may seem unfair to those who live disciplined lives, I strongly feel that any action which leads to the unnecessary loss of young lives needs to be very carefully considered. Young people may well respond sensibly in more serious situations, but only when authority has control.
Putting these ideas together gives us the third paragraph:
As a consequence of the fact that young people in America have an affinity for extreme behaviour and violence when under the influence of alcohol, the social cost of lowering the legal drinking age is unacceptably high. Whilst it may seem unfair to those who live disciplined lives, I strongly feel that any action which leads to the unnecessary loss of young lives needs to be very carefully considered. Young people may well respond sensibly in more serious situations, but only when authority has control.
As the two ideas are in opposition, and linking word or phrase to show opposition is needed:
The second text, in contrast, proposes that because young people in America have an affinity for extreme behaviour and violence when under the influence of alcohol, the social cost of lowering the legal drinking age is unacceptably high. Whilst it may seem unfair to those who live disciplined lives, I strongly feel that any action which leads to the unnecessary loss of young lives needs to be very carefully considered. Young people may well respond sensibly in more serious situations, but only when authority has control.
The conclusion needs to bring together the two different points of view while clearly stating the writer's position. It should not repeat points already made in a literal fashion, but seek to rephrase the arguments more succintly:
Therefore, taking both sides into account, although it could be argued that the time has come to treat Americas's youth with more respect by reducing the drinking age, the devastating effects on the social fabric of American society of such a move would be unbearably high. For this reason I am of the opinion that the status quo should not be disturbed.
We are now in a position to put all these elements together to give us our finished essay:
In an age when young people in America are considered adults at the age of 18, not being allowed to consume alcohol until they are 21 seems strange. What arguments could there be to support this position, or should the age be reduced to 18? Both texts discuss the merits of these positions, but from different perspectives.
The first document contends that people under the age of 21 in America not being allowed to consume alcohol while having the right to live an otherwise adult life is unacceptable, and calls for change, which is starting to happen. I personally feel that someone who can start a family, own a firearm or go to war not being allowed to drink a beer is bizarre. Alcohol does not seem to warrant such draconian attitudes.
The second text, in contrast, proposes that because young people in America have an affinity for extreme behaviour and violence when under the influence of alcohol, the social cost of lowering the legal drinking age is unacceptably high. Whilst it may seem unfair to those who live disciplined lives, I strongly feel that any action which leads to the unnecessary loss of young lives needs to be very carefully considered. Young people may well respond sensibly in more serious situations, but only when authority has control.
Therefore, taking both sides into account, although it could be argued that the time has come to treat America's youth with more respect by reducing the drinking age, the devastating effects on the social fabric of American society of such a move would be unbearably high. For this reason, I am of the opinion that the status quo should not be disturbed.
280 words
The examiner's analysis for this document would be as follows:
1 A good reference to both texts in the introductory paragraph.
2 This signals a good early reference to the contrastive nature of the texts.
3 Focuses attention on the ideas in text 1.
4 Good paraphrase of text.
5 Clear shift to personal stance indicating evaluation.
6 Good use of a participle clause and helps maintain the link with the previous sentence.
7 Clearly marks the transition to the second text to give a balanced alignment.
8 Good paraphrase of text.
9 Good use of concessionary clause.
10 A clear indicator of personal opinion.
11 Good use of inversion which suits the more formal style.
12 Re-states the writer's main argument.
13 Good use of long and short sentences.
14 Good use of fronting.
15 Good use of linking phrase.
16 The document exhibits a good variety of vocabulary with examples of less common lexicon. (In an age, calls for change, bizarre, warrant such draconian attitudes, an affinity for,
the devastating effects, the social fabric, the status quo)
17 Good use of a variety of grammatical structures:
Modal verbs, (What arguments could there be, should the age be reduced, it may seem unfair, Young people may well, it could be argued that, would be unbearably high, should not be disturbed), The conditional, (18) The passive is widely used in accordance with the formal structure of the document. (19) Good use of relative clause. (20)
Good use of Contrasting linking devices. (21)
(22) The size of the document is satisfactory and the fact that each individual paragraph is aproximately the same size ensures that the document is balanced.
(23) The register and tone of the document is formal at all times which is in accordance with the rules of essay writing.
The Essay:
In an age when young people in America are considered adults at the age of 18, not being allowed to consume alcohol until they are 21 seems strange.(6) What arguments could there be to support this position, or should the age be reduced to 18? Both texts (1) discuss the merits of these positions, but from different perspectives.(2)
The first document (3) contends that people under the age of 21 in America not being allowed to consume alcohol while (21) having the right to live an otherwise adult life is unacceptable, and calls for change, which is starting to happen. (4)(20) I personally feel that (5) someone who can start a family, own a firearm or go to war not being allowed to drink a beer (6) is bizarre. Alcohol does not seem to warrant such draconian attitudes.(13)
The second text, in contrast, (21)(7) proposes that because young people in America have an affinity for extreme behaviour and violence when under the influence of alcohol, the social cost of lowering the legal drinking age is unacceptably high. (8) Whilst (21) it may seem unfair to those who live disciplined lives (9), I strongly feel that (10) any action which leads to the unnecessary loss of young lives (20) needs to be very carefully considered. Young people may well respond sensibly in more serious situations, but only when authority has control.(13)(18)
Therefore, taking both sides into account,(15) although (21) it could be argued that the time has come to treat America's youth with more respect by reducing the drinking age, the devastating effects on the social fabric of American society of such a move would be unbearably high. (11)(12) For this reason, I am of the opinion that the status quo should not be disturbed.(13)(14)
The objective of this article was to explain how to structure an essay for the CPE. It identified the elements needed, and explained how they should be put together.
It did not explain how to write the actual sentences. The kinds of sentences used are studied in the section under SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION, and the student needs to learn how to write these kinds of sentences there.
What we did try to explain is where these different kinds of sentences can be used to satisfy the examiners.
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